Friday, March 30, 2012

Visions of Sugarplum Faries

Tonight's Mega Millions lottery jackpot has grown to $640 million, according to the Lottery officials. It is the largest lottery prize in history. Crazy I know so that figures to be $345,000,000 after taxes, if you took the lump sum. Some states have a lottery tax in addition to the federal income tax you'd pay at 25%.

 So I ask the question what could you get for that money? Well first off you could just go on a spending spree and buy Facebook valued @ $100M, then you could buy yourself an election $135M Mitt Romney (Switch Hitting Mormon) for president (or run yourself but recommend legally changing your name to None of the Above first). A nice investment I guess to start off at least you probably get a return on your money from Facebook. 

You still have some money left over at this point. You probably will want a sizable estate say for $10M and of course you will need some transportation so maybe a couple of Bugatti Veyron Super Sports $2.4M ea. You'd need a couple because one is likely to be in the garage. Make sure you set a maybe aside $10M for fuel and maintenance. Then you could just sit on the rest because let's face it you do not want to spend it all at least I hope not. You'd still have enough money to do some travelling, furnish your new home and just have some fun.

But seriously what are your odds of winning The total number of equally likely Mega Millions combinations is 3,819,816 x 46 = 175,711,536 so that makes your odds of course 175,711,536 to 1. That's not very good when you think about, is it worth a chance sure I mean some one is probably going to win, it might as well be me or you. Am I going to quit my job and start running up the charge cards on the "Hope" that I'll win? Fuck no. 

I know I'm being pretty pessimistic, but your odds are better of dying of a flesh eating virus 1 in 1,000,000 or ....   

  • Odds of being struck by lightning: 576,000 to 1
  • Odds of becoming an astronaut: 12,100,000 to 1
  • Odds of winning a Olympic medal: 655,000 to 1    
  • Odds of being murdered: 18,000 to 1   
  • Odds of getting away with murder: 2 to 1   
  • Odds of being on plane with a drunken pilot: 117 to 1   
  • Chance of dying from parts falling off an airplane: 1 in 10,000,000
  • Odds of being considered possessed by Satan: 7,000 to 1 
  • Odds of getting hemorrhoids: 25 to 1 
  • Odds of being audited by the IRS: 175 to 1 
  • Odds of writing a New York Times best seller: 220 to 1 
  • Odds of catching a ball at a major league ballgame: 563 to 1 
  • Odds of becoming a pro athlete: 22,000 to 1 
  • Odds of finding a four-leaf clover on first try: 10,000 to 1 
  • Odds of a person in the military winning the Medal of Honor: 11,000 to 1 
  • Odds of winning an Academy Award: 11,500 to 1 
  • Odds of striking it rich on Antiques Roadshow: 60,000 to 1 
  • Odds of getting a royal flush in poker on first five cards dealt: 649,740 to 1
  • Odds of spotting a UFO today: 3,000,000 to 1 Take me to your Leader
  • Odds of becoming president: 10,000,000 to 1 
  • Odds of becoming a saint: 20,000,000 to 1 
  • Chance of an American home having at least one container of ice cream in the freezer: 9 in 10.  I do and it's Cherry Vanilla :-) 
  • Chance that Earth will experience a catastrophic collision with an asteroid in the next 100 years: 1 in 5,000 
  • Chance of dying from exposure to forces of nature (heat, cold, lightning, earthquake, flood): 1 in 225,107  
  • Chance of dying from legal execution: 1 in 3,441,325 
  • Chance of dying from contact with a venomous animal or plant: 1 in 3,441,325 
  • Chance of getting the flu this year: 1 in 10 
  • Chance of contracting the human version of mad cow disease: 1 in 40,000,000 
But wish me luck I through my $5 dollars in the pot, you can't win if you don't play. If this list . teaches us anything Life is all about Chances and Dreams.

UpdateThe winning numbers: 2, 4, 23, 38, 46, Mega Ball 23 Lottery ticket-holders in Kansas, Illinois, and Maryland each selected the winning numbers and will split a $640 million jackpot, a lottery official said. Were you one of the lucky ones? If yes can I ask for $1.Million JK

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