Monday, January 09, 2012

GOP Crazy Train

Iowa caucus was last week with Mitt and Santorum finishing in a near dead heat. Tomorrow is  the first primary in New Hampshire. So, I figured I'd breakdown the GOP Canidates as I see them. Though I really wish Herman and Michele were still in the race they were a lot of fun to watch and listen too. 

Mitt Romney former Massachusetts Governor, unemployed career politician and currently unemployed 1% . I know he's worth $200 million +, but I wonder if he's been collecting unemployment? Even though he probably has the best chance of winning the GOP has been running screaming anyone but Mitten. I love Superpacs! He's be on either side of just about every issue you could think of. In his eyes the people don't matter it the corporations that matter. He'd probably outsource the military to China. 

Newt Gingrich former Representative from Georgia and speaker of the US House. Marriage vows mean little to him and is on his 3rd marriage. Just like John Edwards he cheated on his wife while she was fighting cancer. Also unemployed but has been working for K-Street lobbyist and the Frannie Mae. In his own words the rest of the pack are a bunch of fucking liars and I wouldn't mind being your VP.

Ron Paul current Representative from Texas, Doctor of something, Libertarian and Isolationist. He has the support of the Nazi Party of America and the KKK, not endorsements I would want. Even though he is a DR. he doesn't have a problem with letting people die, so much for the Hippocratic oath. I think this is his 3rd or 4th time running for President, he's just the kid in the back of the class that always has his hand up but the teacher never calls on him. 

John Huntsman  former Utah Governor and US Ambassador to China. He has the most impressive resume but to liberal for GOP. Which means he's intelligent, experienced and the most qualified candidate of the bunch. He couldn't win if he was the only man running.      

Rick Perry Texas Governor He's dumber than Bush 43. He's a nut case and a Bible-thumping wingnut. People only matter at the time of conception until they are born and then he doesn't care about you until he gets to put you to death. In between you are on your own.  

Santorum, Rick former Representative from Pennsylvania He's crazier than Rick Perry. Wants to turn the US into a Christian Theocracy and dump the US Constitution for biblical laws (ie Sharia law). In the words of columnist Dan Savage "Santorum 1. The frothy mix of lube and fecal matter that is sometimes the byproduct of anal sex. 2. Senator Rick Santorum"

I think those are all of the candidates I may be be missing one or two that none of has ever heard of which mean they probably aren't sure what they are running for.  

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